I hate...
... being taken advantage of.
... being used.
... being used by someone under pretense of love, when all they really want is a convenient outlet to lash out because of what others did to them in the past. When I become the outlet for their revenge. And they don't even know it.
... being toyed with, manipulated, all under the guise of their being weak, capitalizing on my need - nay, compulsion - to care for others.
What I hate the most is to realize that, when they are finally done with me, when I am no longer of use to them, and when I realize all that has been going on... that I still care so much and it still fucking hurts so much. And the sad reality of it is: my door still stays open. Why can't I be like normal human beings and keep a grudge ever so often? huh?!
I'd like to be a jerk, please, with a side order of self-serving attitude.
I now make a vow. Any of you reading this who actually know me, please try to hold me to it. Whack me on the head, scream at me, shove it in my face. No more unhealthy people and relationships. No more fixing others. No more. I can't do it anymore. Please.
... being used.
... being used by someone under pretense of love, when all they really want is a convenient outlet to lash out because of what others did to them in the past. When I become the outlet for their revenge. And they don't even know it.
... being toyed with, manipulated, all under the guise of their being weak, capitalizing on my need - nay, compulsion - to care for others.
What I hate the most is to realize that, when they are finally done with me, when I am no longer of use to them, and when I realize all that has been going on... that I still care so much and it still fucking hurts so much. And the sad reality of it is: my door still stays open. Why can't I be like normal human beings and keep a grudge ever so often? huh?!
I'd like to be a jerk, please, with a side order of self-serving attitude.
I now make a vow. Any of you reading this who actually know me, please try to hold me to it. Whack me on the head, scream at me, shove it in my face. No more unhealthy people and relationships. No more fixing others. No more. I can't do it anymore. Please.
posted by Blinkered at 9:46 PM
1 Comments:
I'll gladly hold you to it. And I have the lever(s)... not that I think you'll need me to use them.
No more loons!!! You are amazing, and loving, and warm. And worth so much more. New girl knows that... same as this old girl does.
You are loved. Know it. You are respected and understood. Believe it.
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